The twenty-five most emasculated, disempowered, henpecked husbands on the planet
By Matt Haber
it’s nothing new. Some of history’s most celebrated and powerful men were cut down to size by the women in their lives. Samson was famously laid low by Delilah. Ronald Reagan called his wife “Mommy.” Even John Lennon fell victim to Yoko, who reportedly left cat turds in his path to remind him who was boss. Ever since our prehistoric ancestors first crawled out of the ocean, took a deep breath of air, and uttered that familiar phrase “Sure, we can go to the Container Store on Saturday,” certain men have buckled under female domination. But is there any doubt we’re living in a golden age of rampant, public whipping? Everywhere you look these days, you see the telltale signs of submission: pathological obedience, public humiliation, couples Pilates. It may start with a walk down the aisle—and isn’t marriage one of the cornerstones of male acquiescence?—but it doesn’t end until you’re side by side in the beauty shop, waiting for your matching highlights. Just ask any of these simps. But try not to laugh too loudly; your wife’s trying to watch Gossip Girl.
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